My fear from my very first entry has come true - I have so much to say, yet I don't care enough to say it to anyone, especially the public. But, in an attempt to salvage this, here is an update of the last month:
- My shipment arrived from the US. I now have a small Costco/Walmart in my cupboard, and I shouldn't need to buy shampoo, hot sauce, or ketchup for at least a year.
- I bought furniture from Arcos Moveis to round out my apartment. This is the first time I have bought quality furniture with the idea of it lasting a lifetime. Does this mean I am in Brazil to stay? As of a month ago, I really saw a long future there. Now I'm not sure. I don't know if this will just be another stop along my quest. You can't stay if there's nothing to stay for. That said, I am only 5 months into a 2-year contract. That leaves 19 months for something big to happen.
- I went to an expat happy hour at Lapa Irish Pub a few weeks ago, where I met two very cool ladies. I have stayed in touch with both: I went out salsa dancing with one of them, and had a nice lunch with the other since that night. So if everything else falls through...at least I have someone with whom I can drown my sorrows in alcohol.
- I know I already said my shipment arrived, but the most important part of it, even beyond the Heinz Ketchup, is this: I have a bed. And it is a glorious, plush, queen-sized bed with red sheets (I have blue and green also, but the red are my favorites), and a beautiful quilt, and a bunch of great pillows. It all goes with my new antique-style (but new) dresser and nightstand. I love my bedroom.
- I am in the US.
- That only reminds me that I am getting creepy Facebook messages and I feel like I'm in Prague all over again.
- I contracted some kind of bacteria from God-knows-what in Brazil, and am now in the process of trying to destroy it. Since I don't want to take antibiotics that will make me pukesies, I am trying a natural cure first, plus killing it on my own with level 10 thai noodles and a lot of hot sauce.
- It's been 5 months in Brazil and I already feel like escaping. Something happened in these last couple days. A change inside me that I don't want to talk about here. Something that is making me question everything I think and believe. And I think I need to explore that.
I don't really know what else to say. I kind of miss Rio already, but I don't miss having to worry about my laptop bag getting stolen off my shoulder, or putting my wallet down while I bag my groceries. Or, for that matter, leaving food out all night and knowing that it won't be covered in roaches when I wake up (not that that's happened to me yet, but probably only because I'm careful.
I don't feel like writing anymore, I just don't like to neglect my journals. Sometimes in the future, they're all the past you have. Sometimes it's fun to go back and remember how you felt at a certain time. And other times it's better to just forget it. I can't decide yet which kind of time this will be.
- My shipment arrived from the US. I now have a small Costco/Walmart in my cupboard, and I shouldn't need to buy shampoo, hot sauce, or ketchup for at least a year.
- I bought furniture from Arcos Moveis to round out my apartment. This is the first time I have bought quality furniture with the idea of it lasting a lifetime. Does this mean I am in Brazil to stay? As of a month ago, I really saw a long future there. Now I'm not sure. I don't know if this will just be another stop along my quest. You can't stay if there's nothing to stay for. That said, I am only 5 months into a 2-year contract. That leaves 19 months for something big to happen.
- I went to an expat happy hour at Lapa Irish Pub a few weeks ago, where I met two very cool ladies. I have stayed in touch with both: I went out salsa dancing with one of them, and had a nice lunch with the other since that night. So if everything else falls through...at least I have someone with whom I can drown my sorrows in alcohol.
- I know I already said my shipment arrived, but the most important part of it, even beyond the Heinz Ketchup, is this: I have a bed. And it is a glorious, plush, queen-sized bed with red sheets (I have blue and green also, but the red are my favorites), and a beautiful quilt, and a bunch of great pillows. It all goes with my new antique-style (but new) dresser and nightstand. I love my bedroom.
- I am in the US.
- That only reminds me that I am getting creepy Facebook messages and I feel like I'm in Prague all over again.
- I contracted some kind of bacteria from God-knows-what in Brazil, and am now in the process of trying to destroy it. Since I don't want to take antibiotics that will make me pukesies, I am trying a natural cure first, plus killing it on my own with level 10 thai noodles and a lot of hot sauce.
- It's been 5 months in Brazil and I already feel like escaping. Something happened in these last couple days. A change inside me that I don't want to talk about here. Something that is making me question everything I think and believe. And I think I need to explore that.
I don't really know what else to say. I kind of miss Rio already, but I don't miss having to worry about my laptop bag getting stolen off my shoulder, or putting my wallet down while I bag my groceries. Or, for that matter, leaving food out all night and knowing that it won't be covered in roaches when I wake up (not that that's happened to me yet, but probably only because I'm careful.
I don't feel like writing anymore, I just don't like to neglect my journals. Sometimes in the future, they're all the past you have. Sometimes it's fun to go back and remember how you felt at a certain time. And other times it's better to just forget it. I can't decide yet which kind of time this will be.
Hello Alia. Don't stop writing. Your last paragraph reminds me of a poem I recently stumbled upon. One day some person may stumble upon this blog and find something that inspires them.
ReplyDelete/////
They say that Hope is happiness—
But genuine Love must prize the past;
And mem’ry wakes the thoughts that bless
They rose the first—they set the last.
And all that mem’ry loves the most
Was once our only hope to be:
And all that hope adored and lost
Hath melted into memory.
Alas! it is delusion all—
The future cheats us from afar,
Nor can we be what we recall,
Nor dare we think on what we are.
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Sincerely,
Lone Wolf
Beautiful.
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